"Children of Silence" - or with their own language?

Why Papa Knew Sign Language: I was stunned to learn that Papa's father, Paul Lawder and Paul's 3 siblings were all deaf and dumb, as they called it. On the 1890 federal survey of deaf families, Paul and his "hearing widow" (Alice Van Houten Lawder) reported that they had one child, Donald (that would be Papa). The survey also noted that all of Paul's siblings were deaf from birth, Rynd Henry the oldest, Elizabeth G, known as Bessie, Paul (our great-grandfather), and John McDole Lawder, the youngest. They were born in rapid succession between 1861-1866. (A 5th child died at the age of 9 months). The survey also asked if the deaf person's parents had been related before they married. "Yes, was the response, "they were first cousins". Now this was not as rare then, and even now it's not unfamiliar in other parts of the world, but John F. Lawder (son of Rev. William Lawder and Catherine McDole) and Marion (daughter of William's brother Rynd Lawder and Mary Quinn) must have each had a dominant gene for deafness. More on John F and Marion in the next post.  [Photo above is not our family, but of children from the Colorado School for the Deaf and Dumb around the same time].

Being deaf in the 19th century: What was that like for children or for their hearing parents?  I imagine the children growing up (born in Cincinnati, Ohio) in Pleasant Hill, MO, then Harrisonville, MO, and now I've seen those towns and rolling agricultural lands surrounding the small brick downtowns. I've confirmed with the registrar that they all attended the Missouri School for the Deaf and Dumb in Fulton, MO for different periods of time, and at least Bessie and Paul also attended the Illinois Institution for the Education of the Deaf and Dumb in Jacksonville, IL (just north of St. Louis).  These were two of the first schools for the deaf west of the Mississippi River. They were residential schools and Bessie and Paul were both there at the age of 7 yrs. They would have been introduced to American sign language and what we'd call today the deaf culture. Many students at these residential schools married someone they met at these schools. [If you are interested in more on this general topic, there’s a fascinating brief history of deaf education in the US, “Through Deaf Eyes” ].  Our four Lawders also had each other at home too. Did they make up their own language before they went to school?

What happened to them when they grew up? We know Paul married Alice Van Houten in 1888 and had a son Donald (Papa) a year later. They also raised Alice’s daughter Mary (“Aunt Dot”) from her first marriage. Paul died in Kansas City in 1915 at the young age of 49, leaving his widow Alice and his 20 year old son Don. In the census of 1910, Paul is listed as having no occupation. Don was working as a reporter already and Alice was working at “the Cooper’s on 36th St” as we know from Papa’s Mother’s Day letter to her. What did Paul do all day? Did he communicate with his son? his wife?

Did Papa know his Lawder aunt and uncles? They were all in KC or nearby. His oldest uncle, Rynd Henry (“Harry”), died unmarried in 1918 at the “Jackson County Home” in Kansas City. That doesn’t sound like a good ending. Bessie, Papa’s only Lawder aunt, married a William C. Johnson in 1889 in Harrisonville. Was he deaf? Then I lose track of her. The youngest of the deaf generation, John McDole Lawder also married. I was excited to find that John and his wife Rose had a son, John Clyde Lawder. Throughout the census years, J. Clyde continues to live with his maternal grandparents while John and Rose Lawder live in Kansas City, he as a gardener on a fruit farm and she as a laundress. My guess is that Rose was also deaf but their son was born hearing and they had him raised by his hearing grandparents. [I don’t have evidence of this but as I’ve been living with these people, so to speak, I can’t help filling in the blanks.] Clyde Lawder was 8 years younger than his cousin Donald (our Papa) but lived till 1980. He and Papa may have been the only progeny of the 4 deaf children of John F. and Marion Lawder. Did Papa even know of his cousin Clyde?